Thursday, April 3, 2008

When We Were Young

Chelsea wrote about getting older and the responsibilities that come with it in her most recent post and for some reason it really struck a chord in my heart. She must have been reading my mind because I have been thinking about life before 'responsibility' like never before and sometimes I just want to cry. Call it hormones, call it the side effects of working 2 jobs, call it being a big baby but I just cant seem to get over it and it is honestly a bit haunting. And annoying. Annoying because it seems like wishful thinking at this point. Lately my mind has been wandering back to when I did pretty much whatever I wanted with my time and my money. Or silly traditions we did as kids. Maybe I want them back.

I really enjoy being married; having a house to live in filled with the stuff we call 'ours.' But I feel strangely like there are things I forgot to do before I took on so much responsibility. What that is that I 'forgot,' I am not sure. More school? More traveling? More sleeping in? Who knows. I am not sure it is really something I would ever figure out either. Whatever it is, is unsettling and I am not sure I like it.

I even can't imagine what it would feel like to have kids and to be physically responsible for their day to day wellness, and I don't think I want to find out what it feels like for several more years. And I think God has a lot to do in my heart.

On a lighter note! I have been sketching some ideas that I am going to start making into greeting cards and prints to put on Etsy. I need to apply with the city of Vista sometime soon to make Modern Crush a legitimate business name, and hopefully I can start putting a few things up on my own etsy shop!


Chelsea said...

You have been on my mind a lot lately for some reason...maybe this is why


By the way, how did you come up with the name Modern Crush?

miss you

Erika said...

Yay for making and selling your things on Etsy! You need to do it!

I know what you mean about getting older and responsibilities and so on and so forth. It can be a little daunting when you start thinking about all of it. We just need to be focused on what really matters and make the days ahead of us the best they can be, without too many regrets...we can travel when we retire (heh!) and sleep in then too!